CURRENT DAY
When team owners relocated the Bees from downtown to the suburbs, they almost changed the team name to the South Jordan Bees, but they did not do it; the team is still the Salt Lake Bees!
Beginning April 2025 (SOON!), the Bees will be playing at a new field/stadium/park/ballpark in the Daybreak subdivision of the suburb of South Jordan, an area made of stucco and pretend dreams south of Salt Lake City, Utah, in the ever-sprawling metropolis of Salt Lake City, a geographical area fitted between two mountain ranges (Wasatch and Oquirrh) (the space in between is the Salt Lake Valley), running from Provo, Utah northward up to Ogden, Utah, a metropolis that has never had any growth planning, and where new miles of freeway and highway are added yearly/monthly/daily, without any regard for safety, congestion, pollution, cancerous air, or where roads would be most useful to the teeming millions of citizens living happily in their McMansions and stucco homes made hurriedly by underpaid workers who most of all MUST WORK FASTER.
Yes, Utah has the worst air in the nation, yes, Utah's rates of lung cancer and other airborne diseases are highest in the nation, but what we will have best of all is ROADS ROADS ROADS. New ROADS. Old ROADS. Big ROADS. Small roads!. Twisty ROADS. Bumpy ROADS. FAST and SLOW roads! Roads with dotted lines and STRAIGHT lines.! The Legislature loves ROADS! ROADS and GUNS! People??? Not so much. But ROADS and GUNS? YES!!! How do we know for sure that the Utah Legislature loves roads? Come to Utah, see for yourself, how many wonderful roads we have. They are so nice, they are so long and nice and black. You can have short roads and then long roads around back of the short roads to get to the places the short roads don't reach, and roads in between!
In 2024, the owners of the Bees team (Larry H. Miller group) decided to move the team from downtown Salt Lake City (the team was historically located at 1300 South West Temple) to the suburbs. One of the reasons for this move is that the old ballpark area had become a hangout area for persons who are homeless. The old ballpark area is an area of urban blight. It was not an attractive destination for the family-oriented people who live in the nicer parts of the city and whose life plans require there to be no homeless people around.
So, in order to orient you to South Jordan Bees baseball, I present a brief, silly history of the Salt Lake Bees and minor league baseball in Salt Lake City, Utah.
WHAT IS SOUTH JORDAN, UTAH?
What is South Jordan, Utah? Well, I need to tell you that it's south of West Jordan, that's the most important thing. West Jordan is named that way because it is mostly west of the Jordan River. And South Jordan is south of that. Is there a North Jordan or an East Jordan? No. Of course not. Dumb question. It's only west and south. Not north and east. South Jordan is one of those cities that has forty-nine Petco marts and twelve auto parts stores, and six abandoned malls where you can donate plasma. There are roads there that are longer than the Great Wall and lead nowhere except to other roads that take you back to the starting point.. Every year tens of thousands of people starve to death in their cars on the roads of West Jordan and South Jordan, people driving around who are not lost, but who somehow simply get so far away from home that they cannot return -- they run out of food or oxygen or water and die, in their cars, in the middle of the road. Sad!
But there are lots of people in South Jordan. Family units procreate aggressively and expand throughout three- and four-bedroom homes until they need five- and six-bedroom homes. These families typically remain chaste despite creating offspring.
Often the children in these families have the same discretionary spending money as the old courtisans in late 19th century France. What do they buy? Nikes? Twelve dollar coffees? Pokemon cards? Bees tickets now!
People and money and space makes the perfect spot for the new stadium.
MAJOR LEAGUE AFFILIATIONS What you might not know, and what might be hard to believe, is that the Salt Lake minor-league team has had FIVE major-league affiliates over the years. The team has been affiliated with the CUBS, the MARINERS, the TWINS, the ANGELS, and the PADRES. Most people know about the Twins and the Angels, but probably not the other three.
A DETOUR ABOUT HOMELESSNESS (Read this section for insightful political commentary; skip this section to return to sports commentary)
Above we said that the old ballpark was moved in part because there is a "homeless problem" there. Let me ask you a question that no one who lives in the suburbs around Salt Lake has been able to answer yet. There is not one single person smart enough in the suburbs of Salt Lake City to answer this question. Not one. I've asked them all this question. None can answer. Suppose I walk around downtown Salt Lake City and I come upon a homeless person, a middle-aged man sleeping on the sidewalk in tattered clothing, maybe missing a shoe, a dirty sleeping bag, odds and ends. Well the question is, where is this man from? Where was he born? Think about it.
Would we say that this is a homeless man from Salt Lake City or that he is from Salt Lake City? Would we say he is from downtown Salt Lake City? Is this homeless man the responsibility of Salt Lake City? Does he belong to the city? Is he "their" burden, their "problem"? Is he something that the city of Salt Lake needs to account for, needs to "fix"? Just whose homeless man is this? Is it Salt Lake City who should house and feed and medicate this man? Is he their burden in terms of food and shelter, and health and policing?
Think about it. To whom does this man belong? To which town or city does he belong? Keep thinking. Who is responsible for this man? Whose responsibility is he? Where is he from? What is his hometown? What city belongs to him, to what city does he belong? Who should bear the tax burden for him?
Keep thinking. The one thing we know for sure, for sure, is that if I am walking around downtown Salt Lake City, say between State and 200 East, along 400 South, and I encounter a homeless man sleeping on the sidewalk, the one thing we know for sure is that he was not born on that sidewalk. We know this because there are no historical accounts of there being hospitals or ob/gyn clinics on that stretch of sidewalk. I have checked. There has never been a hospital right there. Never. There are no babies or hospital beds on State street or 400 South in that area. No maternities, no pre-schools, no diapers for sale, no milk. I don't see people giving birth there I don't. I have lived downtown for 13 years now and I have NOT ONCE seen a baby born there, nor have I seen any infants there unattended. So the homeless man is most definitely not from that spot, he was not born there, he did not grow up there on that sidewalk, under that tree. There are no babies over there. So if he is not from there and did not grow up there then where is he from. If he did not go to school or church over there on that sidewalk, then where is he from? He is not from downtown, he was not born downtown, he did not grow up downtown. The homeless man is most certainly NOT from downtown Salt Lake City. NOT. We know this.
Listen to me. In Salt Lake, the man is not homeless. He is not. In Salt Lake he lives on the streets, in that box, with that grocery cart, with that sack. That is his home. In Salt Lake he is not homeless. In Salt Lake, where he was not born, where he is not from, he is not homeless, for Salt Lake is his home. He was homeless until he arrived downtown, which is his home. But where he is homeless is in Draper, because that is where he had a home, and where that home was taken away, or where he was kicked out of home, or that home has been closed to him. He is homeless in Draper, but in Salt Lake he is not homeless. His home is Salt Lake.
He was born probably at AltaView, he was raised in Draper, went to school and church there. He had friends and family in Draper. He worked there as a teen. He washed his car there. He ran around with his buddies there, learned to skateboard, started dating, went to high school. All that he did in Draper, for he is from Draper, he was born in Draper, he was raised in Draper. At some point in Draper he started drinking, doing drugs perhaps. Maybe he had a psychological or physical condition that was difficult to live with, maybe his family helped him, maybe they didn't. Maybe his parents loved him, maybe they created conflict for him. Maybe he tried to stop or tried to get help, and it didn't work. It went on for months for years. It got worse it got better, it got worse. He could not maintain a job, maybe he started a family in Draper, maybe that didn't work, maybe he left them. Maybe he became a person beyond structure, could not hold a job, could not live with family. Maybe he became homeless in Draper. Maybe his school, his family, his friends, his church, could not or did not help him enough. He became homeless in Draper.
And he came to Salt Lake City for a home. His home is in Salt Lake, but he is homeless in Draper. So the homeless "problem" in Salt Lake started somewhere else, in Draper, in Sandy. That's where the "problem" is. There is no "problem" in Salt Lake. Salt Lake is the solution to the problem, because for the man he has a home in Salt Lake and his home is that sidewalk, and for Draper, Salt Lake is the solution, because they sent the man there when they were done with him. So the homeless man you see in downtown Salt Lake, he's really a homeless man from Draper, a homeless man who grew up in Draper. He belongs to Draper. Draper is responsible for him. So when the Utah Legislature meets to talk about the "homeless problem," what they are really talking about is Draper, and why there are so many homeless in Draper. That's the problem. They should be praising Salt Lake. There are no homeless in Salt Lake. All the people living in downtown Salt Lake have a home, where they don't have a home is in Draper.
THE FOSSIL RECORD PROVES BASEBALL HAS ALWAYS EXISTED!
But back to the Bees. Back to the Bees please. Please to the Bees. The Bees please please please, oh the Bees. I don't like reading about the homeless please, so please please back to the Bees.
The fossil record proves there have been 19,112 1/2 professional and semi-professional baseball teams on earth since the Big Bang. These "fossils," also known as "rocks," or "stones" are all over the place; they are small and roundish and you can throw them! Throw them at your brother's nuts. Throw them at your sister's guts. Nuts, guts, buts, huts, King Tuts. Sister's nuts, brother's guts, father's huts, mother's butts. Under the nuts butt huts. Throw them everywhere. The fossils prove that baseball was everywhere! Our grandparents played baseball with super smart apes and dinosaurs! The first pitcher was a frog pitcher. It's true. The first third baseman was a fucking newt. The first pitcher was a pre-elephant. The first right fielder was a scorpion with a long arm. It's in the Bible: Exodus 4 or somewhere around there. See Exodus 4:3-7 for the first recorded sneak pick-off on first using hidden ball strategy. Read it, for serious!
MEDIEVAL HISTORY OF BASEBALL
During the lengthy Millenium after Jesus' life, God punished humans by withholding baseball, soft blankies, rubberbands, sour cream, and wi-fi for a time; most of our ancestors shat in the streets and whipped each other with straw while awaiting execution due to a Lord or Lady's false accusation (sort of like now with Trump as Dumbust). Finally, around the year 1200 A.D., an asteroid, on its way to earth, exploded and tore apart, leaving only a normal-sized baseball at its core, along with a tiny note from space, reading "hello, from space!." This baseball, traveling at 17,000 MPH, broke as a slider at the last second, and destroyed a tiny church in Reims, France. The year was 1201 A.D.
The primary theory of baseball migration (Sproute, VanEcke, in "Theorems of Old") holds that an understanding of baseball principles and values were maintained in Reims, France for a time, that those values and principles were eventually transmitted by French explorers to the New World, and specifically to Canada and Louisiana, and then later to major urban areas such as Salt Lake City; finally that baseball ultimately spread to less important urban areas such as Manhattan, Los Angeles, and Tokyo, the true home of modern-day baseball.
However, there is a secondary or less favored theory of baseball migration that argues that baseball arrived in the Americas by way of the Roman Empire's westward expansion around the year 300 A.D (Sherman, Torpor, in "Newer, More Correct, Less Stupid Theorems by People with Brains"). This story involves twelve canoes, two burritos, a talking stork, and assumes the existence of high-speed international electric-powered train travel by the year 200 A.D., so it is difficult to prove. But you can get a Ph.D. in these studies from BYU! I know this much is true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NATIVE AMERICAN AND PRE-MORMON HISTORY
According to the second theory of baseball migration, in 1496, Ute Indian explorers in pre-USA Utah find a massive right forearm bone about 500 yards away from the current Kennecott Copper site (No one calls it Rio Tinto. No one. Rio Tinto is a stupid name). In 1512, pre-Mormon scientist G. Gregeorson Newhall steals said armbone (Said Armbone--good name for band) from the Ute tribe and identifies the armbone as having belonged to Mort, a giant man who lived In the Hotel Utah about 200 years prior to the birth of Jesus. Most baseball historians place Mort (aka "Big Smelter") just below Musial and Gehrig on the all-time First Baseman list. Primitive baseball stat sheets kept in "Trapper Keepers" show he hit 201 doubles during the -199 BC season, a season marked by scandal when Mort was caught drinking fresh water from a Yeti bottle. See, Mort was the first "woke" baseball player, because he hydrated himself with water instead of rye.
EARLY MODERN AMERICAN BASEBALL HISTORY
Here we ignore whether we are following the first or second theory of baseball migration. We simply assume one way or the other that baseball has reached the City of Salt by now.
The year 1699 brought important changes to baseball in Salt Lake. Instead of having only two bases spaced 400 yards apart, baseball visionary Art St. Clair decided there would be four bases spaced 90 yards apart, shaped into a diamond shape (originally called a "twisted square.") At that time, each base was a giant human trap formed of sharpened sticks that would snap up and jab a player in the crotch when he stepped on the base. This was obviously dangerous and left legions of teams without a single penis among them. St. Clair, sick of stitching tiny penises onto large athletes such as Pete Rose and Bryce Harper (most Phillies batters have small weiners, it is said), said each base should be flat instead of pointed. Her motion was approved and seconded and passed unanimously after brief discussion. Thus was born something approaching modern baseball, but without Bud Light.
But seriously, if you want to see small weiners, go to the Phillies' clubhouse. It's the home of the tiny weiner. The other place to find teeny-tiny weiners is in the White House, whenever J.D. Vance and Trumpus the Dumbust are showering together, there you will indeed see two teeny-tiny weiners. So cutE! It's every Tuesday they shower together. They do!
ENLIGHTENMENT ERA BASEBALL HISTORY
L'annee 1710 was not unimportant to America's great historical sport. The intellectual stirrings of the Renaissance period gave rise to new light and new ideas in all earthly domains, even baseball. Prior to 1710, baseball hitters used only flexible drinking straws to hit the ball. Paul Schmidthed, a German trader who invented the card game "Uno" (he invented it as "Eins" but his marketing team changed to "Uno"), began to fashion baseball bats from remnant copper piping he stole from commercial construction projects such as the Ikea erected in Draper, Utah in 1707. Schmidthed became master of the form and got noticed for his big hits. He was invited to play designated hitter for the Salt Lake Grocery Carts. He slashed .350/.425/.821 in 60 at bats with the Carts in 1710. When he expired that August after a collision with a street car, many baseball men attended his funeral and learned the secrets of copper batmaking from Schmidthed's girlfriend, Jenny or "Jenster." By 1720, copper bats had become wooden bats and were ubiquitous throughout professional and semi-professional baseball.
BRIEF DETOUR FOR NEEDED CONTEXT
Before we get further along, it's important to understand there are trillions of professional baseball leagues that overlap in the United States. You have MLB or Major League Baseball, which of course does not exist in Salt Lake City in its truest form, as Salt Lakers are forced to choose between the everlastingly shitty Colorado Rockies and the Arizona D-Backs, possessors of the worst uniforms in MLB. Color scheme: dark grey with oil spilled on top. Mascot: deadly snake. Who wants the deadly snake to win? No one.
AAA BASEBALL
MLB of course has its own A, AA, and AAA system in place by which various lower-level, feeder teams, train players to advance from one level to the next, eventually ending up in the major leagues ("The Show"). You don't say "Ay" and then "Ay Ay" and then "Ay Ay Ay" you just say "Ay" and then "Double Ay" and then "Triple Ay" but for the first one you could also say "Single Ay." Some people say that major league baseball could be considered AAAA or 4A. We don't say "Quadruple Ay" unless we are a total asshole with no friends.
Salt Lake has had triple A or AAA baseball at various times. For example, the current minor league team as of this writing, the Salt Lake Bees, is the AAA affiliate of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Is that right? Or is Anaheim the minor league affiliate of the Bees? Both teams suck bad, so bad, they suck like a ginormous vacuum, they suck like a hole in the universe. And before the current iteration of the Salt Lake Bees, the Salt Lake minor-league team was the minor league AAA affiliate of the Minnesota Twins. As you will see below, Salt Lake has also been the AAA home of the Mariners and a few other pro teams.
PIONEER LEAGUE
In addition to the MLB triple A system, the Pioneer League has operated in Utah. The Pioneer League is an independent professional or semi-professional baseball league that has operated out west for many many decades. Up north of Salt Lake City, Utah has a team in Ogden, Utah now (Raptors), and the Pioneer League has had teams in Salt Lake City in the past. An example of a Pioneer League team that has played in Salt Lake in the past is the Salt Lake Trappers.
PACIFIC COAST LEAGUE
Beyond MLB and the Pioneer League, there is the Pacific Coast League or PCL, similarly a professional baseball league that operated independently of MLB for many decades in the western USA, but has now more or less been swallowed up by MLB. An example of a Pacific Coast League team that played in Salt Lake was the Salt Lake Gulls.
NEGRO LEAGUE
And then the Negro League operated in Salt Lake for a time. The Negro League of course organized teams of Black players at times when Black players were not allowed to play in MLB or in other professional leagues. Salt Lake example coming right up.
MODERN BASEBALL IN SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH
THE OCCIDENTALS, NEGRO LEAGUE TEAM, AROUND 1910
From about 1906-1913, or in any event for a few years around 1910, a Negro League baseball team known as the Occidentals played in Salt Lake City. Occident is a word meaning "west," which is in contrast to its opposite "Orient." In olden times, Occident referred to Rome or Western Europe, but now it has come to point more to the U.S. or the Western U.S. Orient has typically referred to Asia. One could also say that Occident is where the sun sets and Orient is where the sun rises.
Could we say then that the Negro League team in Salt Lake City was called "The Salt Lake Setting Suns"? Yes, we could. And so lovely.
First baseman and catcher Bill Pettus has been identified as probably the best player from the Occidentals. He played catcher and first base and appears to have played for many teams throughout the west during his two or three decade baseball career. The Atlanta Braves are trying to call him up now to replace weakling Sean Murphy who has been injured since the Braves acquired him from Oakland a few years ago.
The Occidentals eventually moved even further west to Los Angeles, but there were always baseball teams looking for new homes.
THE SKYSCRAPERS
From 1911-1914, a baseball team in Salt Lake played under the name Salt Lake Skyscrapers. Yes, Skyscrapers! The hubris! Oh my word! At this time, the tallest building in Salt Lake City, Utah was a 4-foot tall salt putty hut made by fourth graders for a school diorama project. Most of the Skyscrapers were decaf drinkers and were expelled from the LDS Church and the Salt Lake Valley once discovered. The skyscrapers moved to Chicago or New York where they were allowed to grow tall and prosper. In any event, the Skyscrapers were an AAA affiliate of a major league team, and were the predecessor (indirectly) of the current AAA Bees team, also a AAA affiliate of a major league team. The baseball league governing the Skyscrapers folded in 1914, and the Skyscrapers sunk into the ground.
1915-1925 BEES
In 1915, a team from San Francisco known as The Missions was moved by its owner to Salt Lake City, and the team became the Bees. Try to imagine four LDS dads sitting around trying to make a dad joke with this content.
Dad 1: So you are telling me there was a mission in San Francisco that was moved to Salt Lake City?
Dad 2: Talk about going on a mission!!! Talk about a mission transfer!!!
Dad 3: Take me on a mission!!!
Dad 4: The San Francisco mission went on a mission of its very own!
1925 HOLLYWOOD BEES, HOLLYWOOD STARS
In 1925, the Bees were moved to Hollywood and then immediately changed names to the Hollywood Stars. As the Stars, nine idiots sat in cubes formed into the shape of a tic-tac-toe board and answered stupid questions while trying to make people laugh.
After the big team left to Los Angeles, there was still a little Bees team left behind that played in Salt Lake and was affiliated with the Idaho League from 1926-1928.
MORE BEES, MORE BEES, MORE FFF'ING BEES
1939-1942, 1946-1963, 1969-1970
The so-called "historical record" on the interwebs says there were other versions of the Bees in Salt Lake City during the years listed above. I guess we all have the same ideas -- the Occidentals and Skyscrapers are interesting, the Hollywood Stars are interesting, but no one is interested in the plain-old fucking Bees, so no one, including me, can say interesting about what happened with the Bees from 1928 to 1963. It's not my fault, it's just not an interesting topic. The Bees aren't the fucking Yankees or anything.
A COMPLAINT ABOUT THE TEAM NAME "BEES"
There are not so many sports teams named the Bees. This is probably because the name is stupid. Utah has a tie to bees, however, as the beehive is the state symbol, as the pioneers loved to work hard, and gave Utah the state slogan of "industry." One problem with the name "Bees" is that the word is plural and singular at the same time. One bee is not very scary, let's be honest. Lots of bees could be scary, together, but it's hard to imagine them being unified together in purpose as a singular mascot.
1963-1965, AFFILIATION WITH CHICAGO CUBS
1963 was the first year that the Salt Lake Bees affiliated with a Major League Team. During the three years 1963-1965, they would be affiliated with the Chicago Cubs of MLB.
1970-1971, AFFILIATION WITH SAN DIEGO PADRES
For a brief time from 1970-1971, the Bees affiliated with the San Diego Padres. Don Zimmer, who would later get in a fistfight with Pedro Martinez, was the manager of the team for one of those two seasons.
1971-1975, SALT LAKE CITY ANGELS
In 1971, the Salt Lake Bees became the Salt Lake Angels and played under an affiliation, through the PCL, with the California Angels.
I'm noticing there was a lot of baseball in Salt Lake City in the early 1900s and late 1900s but not so much in the middle. Why was that? None in the 30s, 40s, 50s? I don't know. Did the second world war kill baseball? Maybe so.
Anyway, by 1970, baseball is back in full force in Salt Lake City, and it's really the high time for minor league ball in SLC with the Gulls, Trappers, and Bees all on deck baby. Oh yeah baby, it's getting juicy for baseball in the City of Salt. Yum yum. Juicy juicy baseball, juicy juicy ball for bases, baby.
Angels is a great name for a Salt Lake sports team. In Salt Lake we are always talking about saints and angels and prophets and apostles and the celestial kingdom and stuff. Like maybe 10% of people in Salt Lake think they are an angel or they have seen one. You don't believe me? Walk down the street and ask ten people.
In November 2024, the Salt Lake Tribune reported that 66% of LDS people in Utah, Idaho, and Nevada voted for Donald Trumpus the Dumbust. Utah Governor Spencer Cox stated that he prayed to God and that God told him to vote for Trump. Probably 5 to 10% of LDS persons in the western USA have reported similar experiences. Would it surprise you then to find out that a large number of people in Utah believe they either are an angel or that they have seen one? So Salt Lake Angels is a great name for a sports team in Utah, that's what I'm saying. Angels, Gulls,. Trappers, all brilliant team names.
1975 to 1981, SALT LAKE GULLS, A PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL TEAM OF THE PACIFIC COAST LEAGUE, AN AFFILIATE OF THE CALIFORNIA ANGELS
SALT LAKE GULLS!! YES! YES! YES!
Finally, finally, finally, from 1975 to 1981, the team changes its name to the Salt Lake Gulls, and we are finally within the reach of "modern history." It's a bit hard to pin down, but my reading suggests that the Salt Lake Gulls were part of the Pacific Coast League, which at the time operated independently of Major League Baseball. By the year 2021, the PCL had become more or less an administrative subdivision of MLB and the PCL is now the name of one of the divisions within the MLB AAA system. BUT AT THE TIME THEY WERE IN SALT LAKE CITY, THE GULLS WERE MOST LIKELY PLAYING IN A LEAGUE (PCL) INDEPENDENT OF MLB BUT THAT ALSO OPERATED AS A MLB AFFILIATE.
To the extent that the Gulls were viewed as having, or did have some kind of formal or loose major league affiliation, they were an affiliate of the California Angels. The Salt Lake Gulls were pink and turquoise, or at least one of their jersey combos featured this daring and unusual combination that suggested the notion of future PRIDE parades in Salt Lake. Quite possibly also, they did not wear pink and turquoise at the time, but were given those colors only as a retrospective vintage look. Who the hell knows anymore, there are so many "vintage" looks--my daughter thinks that her jeans from the Gap from two years ago are "vintage," and that her jeans from Old Navy from five years ago are "antique."
The gull is an important figure in Utah lore and history. When the Mormon pioneers arrived in the Salt Lake Valley, they planted crops, which were eaten by locusts. The pioneers prayed for assistance from heaven, after which time large numbers of seagulls flew in, devouring the crickets and saving the crops. This is why the gull is so important in Utah history.
ABOUT DERKS FIELD, HOME OF MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL IN SALT LAKE CITY
Now where do all these baseball games get played? When the Bees play, where do they play? Are these imaginary games? No, asshole, these are real games, as real as pain, as real as dirt, as real as a Russian tank.
For most of the 20th century, through 1994, Derks Field was the home of whichever minor league was playing in Salt Lake City. At first, the stadium had a different name of a generic variety like "community field" or "government park" but eventually came to be named Derks Field after a sports editor for the Salt Lake Tribune. So most people my age (fifties) will remember the field being called Derks Field when they attended games in the 70s or 80s. The original Derks Field was smaller and less formal than the field most people would have attended between 1994 and 2025, but it was still a sizeable field both for the players and the fans.
By 1994, more corporate money had been put into the field, to enlarge it and improve it, and the field came to be called Franklin Quest Field and then Spring Mobile Ballpark and then Smith's Ballpark at the end, the end being 2024-25 when the team is moved to the suburbs and the old stadium is turned into ... I don't know what they will do with the old stadium.
1981 TO 1985 SALT LAKE GULLS, A PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL TEAM OF THE PACIFIC COAST LEAGUE, AN AFFILIATE OF THE SEATTLE MARINERS
Not much of a change here except the MLB affiliate was different. For four years from 1981 to 1985, the Gulls of Salt Lake operated as an affiliate of the Seattle Mariners rather than of the California Angels.
A couple of notable players were with the Gulls during this time, including Harold Reynolds, who has since become a regular figure on television baseball broadcasts.
1985, PCL TEAM/MLB AFFILIATE MOVED TO CALGARY
In 1985, the Gulls team was moved or sold to Calgary (remember, the Salt Lake hockey team around that same time was a Calgary Flames affiliate) and there was no baseball AAA affiliate for a time in Salt Lake City, and there was much mourning and self-whipping.
SALT LAKE TRAPPERS, 1985-1992
These are the glory years.
During those next years 1985-1992 the Salt Lake Trappers played at Derks Field. This was a minor league baseball team that played in the Pioneer League. The team originated as the Calgary Expos, a minor-league affiliate (Pioneer League) of the Montreal Expos (defunct now), and moved to Salt Lake, becoming the Salt Lake Trappers. The ownership group included actor/comedian Bill Murray who owned 5% of the team. They had an impressive 29-game winning streak that shook this nation to its foundation.
If you talk to the casual Salt Lake baseball fan, they will most likely remember this Trappers team, on account of the 29-game winning streak mentioned above. Many will remember the Gulls, but more will remember the Trappers. Virtually no one will know that the Gulls were affiliated with the Mariners or the Angels. Many will know that the Bees were affiliated with the Twins and then eventually the Angels (more below).
Hold on a minute here! WTF!! I'm just realizing something. The Gulls were relocated and sold to Calgary in 1984-85. That was a Pioneer League team. That same year, the Calgary Expos, a minor-league Pioneer League team, changed its name to the Cannons, became a AAA affiliate of the Montreal Expos, and started playing its games in the stadium that the Trappers abandoned in Canada when they came to Utah. The Bermuda Triangle?
CELEBRATE THE TRAPPERS AND GULLS, THEIR NAMES AND UNIFORMS!!!
Let's pause here to appreciate how awesome those team names were. The Salt Lake Gulls!!!!!!! My word, is that the greatest team name ever? There are hardly any teams that use the name Gulls (none that I know of), and we know the seagull is integral to the history of Salt Lake (see story about seagulls eating the crickets that were threatening pioneers' crops). When you are naming your professional sports team, you want the name to be: (1) relevant to the city/state; (2) unique. That's all you want. Gulls is perfect! Plus the colors were unique -- pink and turquoise -- sort of like Miami Dolphins. Wow!
What about Trappers? Also perfect! Relevant to Utah history, because there is a lot of Utah history that talks about mountainmen and trappers like Jim Bridger and so on. I've always wondered why we didn't have more teams out west named things like Trappers or Mountainmen.
A SAD DETOUR ABOUT SPORTS TEAM NAMING IN UTAH GENERALLY
Other than the Gulls and Trappers, team-naming in Utah has been mostly an embarrassment. It's seriously embarrassing to even think about how stupid some of the team names are. Like I have that feeling you have when you go poop and it makes a mess in your underwear and you need to get home and have a bath and burn your underwear and you are walking around and you just don't want anyone to notice you. That's how I feel when I think of Utah team names like Jazz (cool name but not relevant to our city life or cultural history here), Starzz (dumb to have the double ZZ, plus the name was stolen from the hockey team of same name), Grizzlies (dumb double ZZ), Catzz (dumb double ZZ), Stallions (Z sound again), Blaze (Z sound again). Stingers (Z sound again). Buzz (notice anything familiar in those names?).
Good names for a pro team in Utah: Canyons, Mormons, Pioneers, Apostles, Saints, Trappers, Mountainmen, Elders, Crickets, Smelters, Gulls, Beehives, Settlers, Boulders, Red Rock. Dumb names: Grizzlies, Catzz, Starzz, Blaze, Stallions, Hockey Club, Yeti, Bees (Bees is a fine name because it ties to Utah culture and history, but it unfortunately ends in the "z" sound"), Stingers, Buzz.
1994-2000, SALT LAKE BUZZ
Back to the story.
Anyway, we were the Gulls from 1975-1985, then we were the Trappers from 1985-1992. In approximately 1994, the Portland Beavers (yes, the Beavers!!) moved to Salt Lake, changed their name to the Buzz, and became the AAA affiliate of the Minnesota Twins. Buzz is a tragic name, sort of like being named the Popsicles or the Fairy Dumplings. Why oh why couldn't it remain the Beavers??? Snow Beavers? Mountain Beavers? Salt Lake Winter Beavers? Salt Lake Wet Beavers? Around this time, with this change of ownership is when the field was changed from Derks to the updated Franklin Quest field.
Here's the thing: the owner of the Buzz was a man named Joe Buzas! So he named the team after himself! I guess he didn't like the name Portland Wet Beavers, so when he moved the team to the City of Salt he used the Bees them but with a twist for his own name! How clever!
SALT LAKE STINGERS, 2001-05
OK people, I know by now you have doused yourself in oil and are ready to light the match and end it all. Even I am bored.
Around this time, a copyright claim was made against the team name and logo Buzz. Georgia Tech (the university) sued the Buzz for using a mascot similar to the Georgia Tech Buzz mascot. This is the dumbest war since Vietnam.
In any case, the Buzz must have lost, because they changed their name to the Stingers around this time (2001-03) and remained the Stingers until 2005. Unfortunately Joe Buzas passed away in 2003 and Larry H. Miller bought the team. It appears the Miller group decided to stick with the Stinger name and logo until about 2005.
And remember between 1994 and 2024 the ballpark itself is changing names from Derks Field to Franklin Quest to Spring Mobile and then to Smith's. So you can sort of imagine that each ownership change (to Buzas, then to the estate of Buzas, then to Miller) brings upheaval to the stadium lease agreements and the concession operations and everything.
2005-PRESENT, BEES AGAIN
In 2005 comes another change. I think that's a line from the Old Testament, when Moses raises his spear into the air and shouts at the sky, "Come the Change!" Then God drops billions of dimes and quarters from the sky.
Anyway, in 2005, the Miller family has now fully acquired the team from the Buzas estate, the team changed its name to the Salt Lake Bees, which ties back to previous iterations of the team from many decades ago, which also bore the Bees moniker, as noted before. The Bees adopt primarily yellow and black color scheme, while the Stingers were red and white, and the Buzz were yellow, blue, and green. All three color schemes are among the worst color schemes since the Carolina Panthers and Jacksonville Jaguars joined the NFL. Meaning, not unique. The black and yellow is already taken by the Steelers and Pirates, and the Wolves in English football; the red and white is used by 43% of all American university sports teams; and the grey/blue/yellow of the Buzz is already used by the Mariners and Brewers.
Around this time, the Miller family also gets control of the ballpark itself and the price of tickets and concessions escalates dramatically; not surprising. Of course, the Miller family adds the stupid idea of cheerleaders, blond girls standing around cheering for no reason. Baseball has never needed cheerleaders. Whoever decided on baseball cheerleaders should probably be required to wear a sports bra in the shower for the rest of her/his life. On the other hand, the Miller ownership group does a lot to improve the stadium concourse, the seats, the playing field.
As best I can tell, the minor-league team in SLC remained affiliated with the Twins until perhaps 2003, and then at some point between 2003-05 switched affiliations to the Angels, probably when Joe Buzas died.
PERSONAL ANECDOTE
Those of us who have attended Bees games the past thirty or forty years have probably noticed changes that we didn't fully understand. Most obviously the team name has changed a lot, as well as the uniforms and logos. The stadium itself has changed names a few times, and the quality of the experience at the stadium has varied, as well as the length of the hot dogs. One of my favorite literature teachers in college told the class constantly that the length and size of a hot dog was always changing. This teacher was later fired for some reason or another.
The one consistent thing with the Bees is the team itself always loses, so you don't have to worry about that. Hopefully this article sheds some light on why things were always changing: because the ownership groups were always changing.
Around the year 2000, my friend worked for the Buzz organization as a groundskeeper and attended all the home games and took care of the grass and dirt and stuff. It's actually a profession -- those who care for major league baseball parks. They have special training in lawn management and the dirt and everything. I don't know enough to do it justice, but there are all kinds of tricks and techniques to making the grass and dirt so flat and smooth and nice so that players don't slip and trip. The infield dirt isn't regular dirt for instance, it's different kinds of special dirt they use to make an infield.
My friend (let's call him Mel Ott) said that around 2000 the field was known to be pretty crappy, and a lot of major leaguers who were injured would go down to AA instead of coming to Salt Lake, because they were worried about getting injured in the infield in Salt Lake because of holes in the grass or rocks in the dirt (if you slid into second a rock might tear up your leg). So even though the Miller family did some unfavorable things like add cheerleaders to the sidelines and spike the prices, they did improve the conditions of the field itself, which helped the players avoid injuries, at least according to Mel Ott.
This friend, Mel Ott, and his family, the Ott family, actually had access to the field one offseason and we played a casual game of baseball there. I singled in my sole at-bat. I hit the ball as hard as I could and it barely left the infield. Throwing from third to first is hard! Baseball players are super talented -- we take them for granted because it looks like they are just standing there having fun, but it's a super technical sport that requires special gifts and practice.
In my lifetime, I have been to 20 or 30 Bees or Buzz or Stingers or Trappers or Gulls games. I couldn't really tell you anything about the games I've been to, who won or lost or what happened. Even though I love pro baseball, I don't have a rooting interest in the AAA team. I don't really care if they win or lose. One game I went to, a guy named Curtis Pride was playing leftfield and a ball was hit to him and he made a nice strong throw to home or third. He threw it all the way from left to home, without bouncing. At the plate he was strong. I looked him up just now. He had a long career in MLB going up and back between AAA and AAAA ball, and is the first deaf professional MLB player. My wife and I went to a Bees game a few years ago and saw a guy being stretched out before the game by the trainer. He had super flexible legs and he seemed like an energetic, strong, funny guy. Later I learned it was Jo Adell, who has been in the majors for a few years. So he's the best baseball player I've ever seen in person at the Bees stadium. As of the writing of these edits he'll still in the majors with the Angels, getting ready for probably another ho-hum Angels season unfortunately. I hope I'm wrong.
I remember more the people I have attended the games with than the actual games. I remember more the feeling of being at the game than the game itself. My wife and daughter, who don't love baseball, love attending the games because it's a fun, casual, social atmosphere. When the weather is good, nothing beats it.
Supposedly guys like Mike Trout or Paul Molitor (Hall of Famers, or will be) played at some point in SLC but I didn't attend any of those games. For a time when we were the affiliate not of the Angels but of the Twins, guys like LaTroy Hawkins and one of the Molina brothers (not Yadier) came up through Salt Lake. Hawkins had a nice career in the majors as a closer. Otherwise, the history is not overly sparkled with jewels.
According to the innerwebs, Ruth himself swung the bat at old Derks or pre-Derks. Is there proof of this? Probably not. Aaron was here too.
I went to a game this weekend with my daughter. The Bees lost, it was 110 degrees, but was a nice atmosphere, casual, fun, not very serious. It is nice to park close by and not have to pay to park. It's nice to not wait in line for more than a few minutes for a Coke. We sat close behind home plate and tried to see any movement on the pitches but I'm blind as a bat and other than seeing if a ball was way off the plate or not, I couldn't really make anything out. It surprises me that people can watch those pitches and make all these conclusions about what the pitcher is trying to do. I can't make out a damn thing. If you are reading this article, you probably know already that nowadays they keep track of everything to do with each pitch, the speed, the spin, the angle, the placement, everything. Same with the hitters.
There's a lot going on there and again with the ball traveling close to 100 MPH it's amazing that so many people have the job of dissecting what is happening in a situation that is happening so fast I can barely even see the ball. I noticed a couple of scouts today who were timing the speed of all the pitches, writing everything down, taking video. I assume they work for the Angels or the Bees but they could be independent. It's a cool skill that is hard to understand -- the idea of watching someone throw it 100 MPH and being able to notice something other than that the ball is going fast.
THE LATEST ON THE BEES, 2025
As of 2025, the Salt Lake Bees have moved to The Ballpark at America First Square, which sounds as genuine as an Elon Musk value proposition. This stadium is in the Daybreak community in South Jordan, Utah. So you have a fake stadium within a fake community within a fake suburb of Salt Lake. Oh well. That's where the population is now.
The stadium has its own website. It looks nice. It does. Will I go? According to the baseball park's website, it will take an hour by train each way to get to the stadium which means it will take 80 minutes each way, plus an extra fifteen minutes of walking time each way. Games are 3 to 3.5 hours. Would I devote 6.5+ hours to a minor league baseball game? What do you think? Would you do it?
That's OK. They don't need me and they don't need any fans from downtown or even from Davis County. They are banking on Utah County, South Jordan, Riverton, Herriman, Sandy, Draper, West Jordan, where all the people are. Looking at the team's website, the prices have been moved up another 20% from last year, but they will do great. People will go. There is a lot of money in Salt Lake. There is so much money in Sal Lake, mostly because people don't pay their taxes. It's sad the team won't be downtown anymore, within reach, but maybe being in the 'burbs, some little girls and boys will see the team, who otherwise would not have, and maybe the game will inspire them to keep playing baseball instead of some other option like soccer or basketball or lacrosse, and maybe in fifteen years they will be trying to get into The Show.
And remember, the Miller group is interested in bringing pro ball to Salt Lake, to a stadium probably between downtown and the airport. There's so much room there for a stadium and parking and restaurants and fucking scooters and maybe a Trump Presidential library if the Utah voters get their way. Would SLC have a quality pro MLB team. No way, not enough money, but you could go to the games to see the opposing team. I bet they'd stick us in the AL West, play the A's, the Angels, the Mariners, the Astros, the Rangers.
If we do get a new pro baseball team in downtown Salt Lake City, what should we call them?
Salt Lake Cracker Jacks?
Salt Lake Swing?
Salt Lake Sting?
Salt Lake Occidentals?
Salt Lake Rams?
Salt Lake Mountain Sheep?
Salt Lake Trappers?
Salt Lake Gulls?
Salt Lake Pioneers?
Salt Lake Labradors?
Salt Lake Spaniels?
Salt Lake Canyons?
Salt Lake Valleys?
Salt Lake Fossils?
Write to me and let me know your thoughts. If you dislike this post or disagree with it, please write to the Grand Duke of Luxembourg and let him know. He's my cousin!
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If you like this post, you might enjoy this too. My cousin wrote this. It's so funny, check it out. Imagine Catch-22 mixed with Confederacy of Dunces, and all placed in a wardhouse in Salt Lake City, Utah. Zany, hilarious, and also thoughtful.
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